5 Reasons Acceptance Beats Resistance

 

Prayer Acceptance

Ughhh…..this totally sucks!!!! We have all been in those “sucky” moments and life situations. Our main focus can easily become “how can I fix this and make it go away…now?!?” We become upset about one thing, which then rapidly snowballs into ten things. Added to that cluster, we are mad at ourselves for being upset.

Nobody likes to feel “bad.” We are wired to go to war with negative situations, thoughts, and feelings to drive them away. This approach is actually completely ineffective in yielding a solution. It is a huge waste of our time and energy. When we declare war, we are choosing to fight and resist “what is.” Resistance not only makes our negativity expand, it gives us a headache, makes us sick, keeps us scattered and overwhelmed, and holds us in a very low vibrational state. I often refer to this place as “problem energy,” otherwise known as the “sucky place!” You will never be able to access solutions or attract help of any kind from the “sucky place.”

Here are 5 Reasons Acceptance beats Resistance Every Every Time!

  1. When you consciously surrender and accept “what is” you literally feel a softening of tension and stress within your whole being. It is a huge release of all the fighting energy you have built around yourself in response to the upset. Your muscles relax, you exhale, and your whole body lets go.
  2. We instantly free up a large percentage of our total energy when we choose acceptance. Let’s say you have 100% of your energy available to you when you wake up in the morning. If you wake to remember your life sucks, and you have to fix it, suddenly 75% of your energy immediately is assigned to fighting and fixing. This leaves you 25% of your energy left to deal with the remainder of your day.
  3. Acceptance is a much higher vibration than fighting and fixing. We are all constantly emitting an energetic vibration. If you are happy, excited, and full of hope, your energetic vibration is high. If you are discouraged, angry, fearful, or in despair your energetic vibration is very low. The lower you go….the worse you will feel physically and emotionally. When we are low, we tend to attract more of the same negative energy in the form of people, situations, and experiences. Like attracts like, so if you are willing to accept your upsetting moment and relax a bit, your vibration will begin to rise. Once you have pulled your vibration upward, you will start attracting more and more positive experiences.

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4.     Acceptance yields “solution energy” Albert Einstein said it best, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Problems reside in the lower vibrational energy; solutions are available in the higher vibration energy. Acceptance makes us feel better, which naturally raises our vibration opening us up to solutions and clear guidanc

5.     Acceptance requires far less energy than resistance and fighting. Life is not meant to be so exhausting and a constant struggle. We can choose to live it with more ease, grace, and comfort. Choose ease!

Pushing, Trying, Forcing

 

Pushing Artistic Image

Have you ever been told to “Push Through?” I definitely have, and most of my life I have acted from that belief. Our society encourages us to “do, do, do…work hard….try, try, try.” There is most definitely truth to working hard and doing your best in life, but if you are forcing, trying, or pushing yourself, you are “acting” from a negative energy/vibration.

I’ve noticed there are two different types of “Action.” There is “Forced Action” and “Inspired Action.” Forced Action is acting from a place of trying, forcing ourselves, obligation, stress, guilt, and urgency. This type of action feels yucky, and generally speaking we are not as productive and effective.

Inspired Action feels much different. When you take action from this stance you feel excited, motivated, clear, and inspired. If you act from inspiration, you will absolutely get more accomplished, be more effective, and feel a whole lot better in the process of “doing.”

If you truly do not feel good about a certain action…STOP and consciously raise your vibration….get happy!!!! Wait to act till you feel better and more positive about what you are choosing to do. The more you push and try, the more forced energy you expend, the worse you are going to feel. When your energy is a “push,” you are blocking help and solutions God/Spirit wants to deliver to you.

Image:  Fashion illustration by Donald “Drawbertson” Robertson.

Choose JOY

Joy

What is JOY for you? What would JOY look and feel like on a daily basis? Most of my adult life, I didn’t believe JOY was on my menu of options. Of course I had happy moments and good times, but JOY eluded me until very recently. For me, JOY is about REALLY LIVING every moment fully rather than simply SURVIVING. Somewhere along the line, I began to BELIEVE and KNOW JOY was possible for me. I DECIDED living life without JOY was no longer an option for me, period! It was a big shift in my thinking and believing. I began to repeatedly see how I HAD THE POWER TO CREATE JOY IN MY LIFE. I was equally responsible for creating the stress, drama, lack, and worry in my life as well. The more I focused on how scared I was or how impossible things felt….the worse things got. I began to observe this crazy-making and started to realize I had A CHOICE in every moment what I wanted to create for myself….more stress/drama/lack OR JOY/abundance/love. I trained myself to choose the JOY ROUTE even if what I saw in front of me appeared impossible. I repeatedly focused on all the good, all that was possible, and the new story I wanted to live! Things shifted in stages, a bit at a time, but before I knew it, I WAS LIVING MY JOYFUL STORY! It’s getting easier to choose JOY over worry, but I still find myself at “choice points” where I have to be very deliberate about staying out of negativity. It truly is a way of life to consciously choose to BE IN JOY, regardless of what is going on outside of you.

Confidence Is Everything!!!

Confidence Image

CONFIDENCE IS….

  • KNOWING YOU are a spark of Divine Source and when aligned with this part of yourself, you are perfection!
  • Never needing to ask for permission to be your glorious, imperfect self
  • Always assuming you are more than enough. If others can’t see it, they need to look elsewhere
  • Never compromising your truth or your authenticity. This is your gold…don’t ever give it away
  • Never needing or trying to convince anyone that you are anything but GLORIOUS!
  • Realizing YOUR PERSPECTIVE of YOURSELF is the same one others will adopt.
  • Knowing if you QUESTION YOURSELF even for one moment, you are opening the door and inviting everyone in your energy/ space to do the same.
  • Realizing there is nothing more attractive, sexy, inviting than an individual who NEEDS NO ONE to reassure them of their greatness…their Divine Spark.

 

The Importance of Maintaining a High Vibration


Omega Color

For those of us who are very sensitive to other people’s energy, it is very important we keep our energy strong and vibration high. Energetically sensitive people are very vulnerable to taking on other people’s negative energy. I like to refer to us sensitive types as “Empaths/ Healers.”

It is significantly easier to hold and protect your personal energy, separate from others, if you are operating within “EXPANDED” energetic levels of vibration.
The higher your vibration, the less likely you are to absorb other people’s crappy energy!

      • Meditation (4-4-8 breathing, chakra/aura clearing)
      • Consciously bring your ENERGY UP connecting to flow of Higher Vibrational (Love/500 or Above energy)–imagine a faucet of gold sparkling healing energy flowing into your central channel and aura
      • Listen to your favorite MUSIC—dance, walk, drive, take a bath…
      • Extreme Self-Care (massage, facial, bath, rest/relax/read, watch favorite tv/movie, etc…)
      • Energy Work
      • HAVE FUN & LAUGH!!!

 

“Everybody Hurts Sometimes”

Everybody Hurts Sometimes

 “Everybody hurts..

Everybody cries…

When you feel like you’ve had too much of this life to hang on….”

-R.E.M.

I know I’m not alone when I hear songs like the R.E.M. one I quoted above. Hurting sucks. Sadness sucks. Loss sucks. Discouragement sucks. This is truth, yet we all label these feelings as “negative,” therefore we do all we can to move away from them, cover them up, and avoid feeling them. No one wants to be around someone who is hurting, especially when the hurt seems to last way too long. When hurt endures past its expiration date, it seems to only deepen the pain. We ask ourselves “why can’t I simply let this go, why can’t I just move on, what is wrong with me?” Being in this place of hurt seems to attract more of the same. When it rains, it pours. We ask WHY? No one seems to know the answer or have the solution we seek. We wonder where the “Exit” door is in this dark hallway. There always seems to be doors in the hallway that deceive us into a seeming escape, but they only lead us back to the dark hallway. What to do when you simply can’t find the door to the light?

Recently I experienced the loss of someone I cared very deeply about. It’s been a long time since I’ve lived a hurt like this. It’s especially sucky when you don’t understand why it hurts so much; it makes no logical sense whatsoever. Sometimes there is loss, and we never have closure. We are not given the chance to say “goodbye” or understand what happened. This is probably one of the most difficult hallways we walk. There is a door we know will lead us to our answers, yet we won’t, don’t, absolutely refuse to open it. It is the forbidden room for reasons we can’t begin to make sense of. Somewhere deep inside we know we can’t enter, which adds frustration to the equation. At some point you reach a point in the hallway where you enter a room that promises relief, yet seems to throw you into a spiral of discouragement, self-hate, and self-sabotage. We’ve all been in this place, although it is very hard to admit and acknowledge even within ourselves.

So how does one find the light at the end of this damn hallway? In this moment, I truly don’t know the answer to this question, but I have to trust it will eventually show itself. I know the sun will shine again and all I seek will somehow come to be. As R.E.M. says:

“When your day is night alone, hold on, hold on…

If you think you’ve had too much of this life, hold on…

When you feel like letting go (giving up), hold on…”

As counter-intuitive as it seems, I’m starting to wonder if “the only way out is through.” We have to travel the dark hallway until the light presents itself. Trying to escape the hallway too soon doesn’t work. We have to allow ourselves to BE with the pain, the confusion, and the disappointment. What you resist persists, so at some point on our path we must let it be. Truthfully I hate this answer. I suppose we are in this place until we aren’t. I guess it’s that simple. I have no great words of wisdom here. I write this to let others know you truly are never alone in your pain. Unfortunately it is part of the human condition to hurt. Let it be a strange comfort to know “Everybody hurts sometimes.” Allow yourself to believe “this too shall pass,”  and certainly don’t pitch a tent in this hallway. Keep going. Let friends help you. Do things you enjoy and make you feel good. Don’t get stuck in the muck and mire. Keep on truckin! There is a light if we can patiently endure and open ourselves to the hurting and the inevitable healing. So “hold on, hold on.”

An artistic collaboration with stylist Kathi Kauder and photographer Sabrina Theissen. For these mixed media collages Ashkan Honarvar used Vanitas symbols in a search for the equilibrium between life. November 6, 2011

6 Ways to Manage Energy Drains

Detach From Drama

This time of year is festive and fun, but it can also be a huge drain of our energy. Whether it’s Christmas parties, shopping at the mall on a Saturday, toxic relationships, co-workers, or family gatherings, many of us soak up the stress of the season. This leaves us utterly depleted and energetically vulnerable to other people’s drama and negative energy. Here are 6 strategies to keep in mind and use to free yourself of entanglement with other people’s “stuff” during the holiday season.

  1. DETACHMENT: It is very important to consciously detach energetically from people and situations you know drain your energy and personal power. Rather than directly “stepping into” drama and upset with others, “step away” from the situation and return to your center and inner calm. Instead of getting sucked into another person’s storm, Detach, Pull your energy back, and Say a prayer in that moment. Ask God/Spirit to please help them. You can also imagine sending them healing and loving light from your heart center. Then LET GO and know you don’t have to take responsibility for fixing or solving their problems. Better to let God/Spirit do this for them and you DETACH.
  1. DISENGAGE: Sometimes the less you say, the better. Silence can be golden. If someone is arguing with you or trying to pull you into their problem, step back and don’t engage or feed into the negative dialogue. Imagine yourself “observing and watching” the other person from a neutral place, much like you watch a movie on TV. Allow others to own their issues.
  1. MANAGE YOUR “ENERGY ACCOUNT” Consider how much energy you have in each moment. Is your account full of energy or is it overdrawn? Before you decide on investing time and energy to a situations or person, assess the “energy cost” of engagement. Can you energetically afford the situation or person? If the answer is NO, politely reschedule and focus on investing your time and energy on increasing the balance in your energy account.
  1. DON’T PUSH, TRY, FORCE: If you truly do not want to take part in an event, situation, meet-up, or party…DON’T!!!! The more you push and try, the more you energy you spend, the worse you are going to feel. When your energy is a “push,” you are blocking help and solutions God/Spirit wants to deliver to you.
  1. DON’T WORRY…BE HAPPY: Know that when you are worrying, you are still energetically engaging with the negative situation or person, and your energy and power is leaving you. Shift your thoughts and actions to something you enjoy and makes you feel happy. Make conscious investments of good energy into you account!

6.   “BE STILL AND SURRENDER…Sit for 10-15 minutes breathing and connecting with the healing energy available to you in every moment. Use MELALEUCA oil when you are quietly meditating. This essential oil breaks the negative and draining ties in our life. It is the “Oil of Energetic Boundaries.” You can put it on the bottom of your feet, behind your ears, on your wrists or temples. If using a quality oil such as doTerra, you can put a drop into water and drink it.

 

 

Image found on Etsy–artbyoak1

Who Determines Your Worth?

 

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What “measuring stick” are you using to determine your worth?

 We all live within societal guidelines set for us by those who have come before us, or people who we have deemed more powerful than us for one reason or another. We were all created to be individuals, to be different and unique, yet we strive daily to measure up to guidelines and a societal measuring stick which tries to make us all the same. As we live out our daily lives, we measure our worth comparing ourselves to the generic instructions and expectations we’ve all been given. Whether we’ve had them communicated to us directly through parents, family, friends, or the church or indirectly through books, media, marketing, or online information, we all get the message of how WE SHOULD BE to be accepted and valued in this crazy game of life. In this scenario, it could be argued that society and “others” determine your value and worth.

Waking up to your individuality and unique greatness.

What happens when individuals begin to discover they are unique and have an authentic, yet different way of approaching the world than those around them? What happens when one begins making choices that make them feel good about who they are, even if others do not agree? This individual will begin to live a happier, more personally fulfilling life, but likely feel judged as unworthy one way or another when their own best choices don’t measure up well against societal standards. When we live in alignment with our own authenticity, I guarantee you there will be push back from society making you question whether your individual choices and decisions truly are worthy and ok. This is the time you must find the personal power within to stand strong in your truth.

Determining worthiness seems to depend on what measuring stick is being used, our own authenticity and individuality OR societal expectations and instructions. Depending on where you look to measure your unique value, the determination of your worthiness is going to most definitely be altered.

Why is the origin of your self-worth important?

 It has been my experience looking outside myself for approval and a sense of worthiness creates a blend of negative thoughts and emotions. Primarily I find guilt and shame to be the most evident feelings that emerge. In addition, I find it creates a chaotic sense of direction and purpose. I lose my balance and my center becomes shaky. Each one of us was created to be unique and different in order to contribute a special brand of greatness to the world. The key to accessing our distinctive greatness is fully honoring who and what we are as well as standing strongly in our truth while following what feels right for us. Inevitably others will judge you and criticize you if your choices and decisions don’t align with theirs’ or society in general, but one must remain rock solid in their individual truth and worth. The payoff for staying centered in yourself and allowing your worth to emerge from within is a sense of authentic joy, direction, and purpose. The negative feelings that emerge when you allow the outside world to dictate who you are fade and transform into inner peace. It takes great courage to live from your own defined sense of self-worth, but the rewards are so very worth it!

 

Am I Going the *Right* Way?

Confusion 1

It is that annoying question that sometimes doesn’t have an immediate answer. Is this the right path for me? Am I going in the right direction? There are times when we feel very confident traveling on our life journey and there are other times when we feel completely lost and unsure of our next right turn. We find ourselves repeatedly asking, should I go right, left, straight, or completely turn around? Unfortunately life did not provide us with a personalized guide-book or map to keep us on our “right path.”

Feeling confused about our direction can be so frustrating and energetically draining. It becomes even more difficult if you are getting conflicting feedback from the “peanut gallery” of your life. The more uncertain we feel, the more we begin turning to others for answers, direction, and eventually help. Although input from others can be valuable and helpful, ultimately we have access to all our answers and directions within ourselves. The problem is we busy ourselves with a whirlwind of doing, over-thinking, trying, and finding solutions. This can create a chaotic energy around us, which makes it nearly impossible to access OUR answers, the answers that will truly best serve us.

I myself have recently been living into this feeling of confusion and uncertainty of my “right direction.” Over the last year and a half I have confidently devoted all my time, energy, heart, and soul in the direction of building a business. I made the choice not to work a part-time job while pursuing this venture. I consciously decided to devote myself to the growth and development of my business, my clients, and my son independent of a secondary job. There are days when this path has felt totally “right on” and days when I wonder if I MUST have my head examined for attempting all of this! Paying the bills as a single mom is challenging to begin with, but further complicated when attempting to generate consistent income from a new business still growing and maturing. This choice has taken a heavy toll on me financially, physically, and personally, making me deeply question this direction. I’ve also watched the significant positive impact my work has had on every single one of my clients, which has created a deep commitment to my chosen road. Recently I have found myself asking, “ Am I going in the right direction?” Is it time to consider a course correction?

The most frustrating part of questioning your direction is the long and arduous process of selecting a new and better options. As I have worked to make changes, I have found these strategies very effective in keeping me in positive forward motion:

  •  As questions arise, start a written list of the unanswered matters. Each time you add a question to the list, say a prayer and let go of needing to have an immediate solution. This will help keep your mind clear of chaotic over-thinking/analyzing.
  • I believe it was Albert Einstein who said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” Find your version of solution energy. For me it’s completely setting aside everything and completely checking out for 24 hours. Every time I step out of the confusion, fixing, solving, trying, problem energy answers begin to magically come through. Again it is helpful to initiate a written list of the solutions as they come to you.
  • Take only inspired action. Focus ACTION on ideas and solutions you feel motivated to initiate with ease. If you are engaged in forcing or trying energy, it is likely you are not yet ready to commit to a new direction.
  • Give it all up to God/the Divine and trust right action will be revealed. I love the work of Tosha Silver for this. Tosha suggests “offering your mind to God/ the Divine asking for the highest thoughts to fill you” and guide all your choices and decisions. Trust you are being divinely guided toward all’s highest and best good. (https://www.facebook.com/toshasilver13?fref=nf)
  • “If you don’t know what to do, do nothing.” A dear friend of mine shared this message with me, and it really resonated. Sometimes choosing to press “pause,” and letting the issue “marinate” for a bit eventually shifts you from problem to solution energy. Answers flow to you in solution energy.
  • Approach your choices and decisions from a place of “empowerment” rather than “victim.” When we are in complicated situations, it is very easy to fall into that place of “why is this happening to me?” Choose to see it as God giving you chance to step into your true personal power and decide accordingly. Own your decision and stand strong within it.
  • Choose to tell yourself and others a different story than the one that makes you wrong and bad! When we are confused or feeling challenged, it’s very easy to blame ourselves for any negative that is showing up and make ourselves wrong. Acknowledge the decisions that did not serve you and forgive yourself. Remind yourself you are doing the best you can given your knowledge and consciousness base. Making yourself wrong will only hold you in a lower vibration, blocking solutions.
  • 80/20 Rule: Another wise friend shared this concept with me. In any given activity, situation, relationship, etc…it is ideal to feel content and at peace with your direction 80% of the time, while allowing room for inevitable frustration, disappointments, and let-downs 20% of the time. When the 80/20 changes to 50/50 or 30/70, it is probably time to reevaluate your direction and consider shifting paths.

 I love this quote, “ Sometimes God closes doors because it’s time to move forward. He knows you won’t move unless your circumstances force you. Trust Him.” I’m not sure who said this, but it captures the whole idea of considering shifting our direction and making necessary course corrections on our path. Ultimately you must allow for the “wise inner knowing” part of you to guide you in your lost moments. Let go of control and allow this internal GPS system to connect with God consciousness and order your “right path.”

I’m not a big fan of the word “right.” I prefer “a path that truly serves me.”  The wording was a little tricky on this one.

Managing Overwhelm

 

Far Side Brain Full

Have you ever sat in a meeting where people are brainstorming and coming up with a million great and wonderful ideas… ideas only you can execute? Has your “to do” list ever grown so long you totally run out of room to write on the paper? Have you ever gone to bed feeling like you have so much to do you don’t even know where to start? Ahhhhh! Overwhelm is so much fun!!! I don’t know about you, but when I reach this point of crazy-making, NOTHING gets accomplished no matter how hard I work to check things off my list!

I feel like I’ve been in an ongoing state of overwhelm for the last two weeks, and I have yet to complete all the important tasks on my list. Finally for the first time  I can at least see what needs to be done clearly and have a plan to execute it. It feels so much bigger than me, and in order to make progress, I have to take everything one step at a time and manage overwhelm.

How does one manage overwhelm? Some people are of the idea that when you have a long list of things to accomplish, overwhelm or not, you push, struggle, and work till everything is done. I’ve tried this approach and although things do get completed, they take an inordinate amount of time to complete. The process of working through my list is often totally draining and painful both in my brain and my body. Once I’ve gotten everything done, I finally crash and then undoubtedly get sick. Anyone familiar with this circus? After years of approaching things this way, I have discovered a more efficient and effective way of getting things done without the struggle and stress.

The new approach is completely different than the first in that once you are hit with the feeling of overwhelm, you must stop and carve out time to step back and not work! Yes, I said it…set your work aside for a stretch of time and take care of YOU! For some this feels impossible when you are in the thick of overwhelm, but I tell you it’s the most effective and efficient way out to stop the crazy train. As always, your goal is to do anything you can to feel better. Go to a movie, take yourself to your favorite café for a pastry and coffee, go for a walk with a friend, or watch your favorite tv show. The key is to do anything that will unwind your overwhelm, not feed it. Take a break to allow things to settle down in your brain and energy. Once you are calmer and more relaxed, you will naturally be inspired to take the next best right step toward getting things completed.

I’ve heard it said, “the best time to take a vacation is when you have no time for one.” Allowing yourself an extended amount of time away from chaos and stress brings forth unimagined treasures. Taking a real step back from chaos in the brain allows true creativity and inspiration to bubble up and come forward. Unfortunately you simply can’t access the really good stuff you want from stress and struggle. It’s simply not possible.

Far Side Cartoon by Gary Larson